Two Assholes and a Mic
Episodes
31 episodes
S2E31 - Retirement Checks, Carnivore Diets, and VFW Realizations
In S2E31, we bring on our old friend Chance Cunningham and catch up on life after the Air Force. We talk about Chance retiring out of Fairchild, getting medically retired after 21 and a half years, rolling straight into his VA rating, an...
S2E30 - Diesel Problems, Dragon Ball Endings, and Dog Ball Science
In S2E30, we kick things off with Ian sweating through the UK heat with no AC while Robby enjoys his precious American cooling. From there, we get into the latest mystery with Kirstie’s car, diesel particulate filters, oil dilution, chec...
S2E29 - Sonic LEGO, Bar Training, and Alien Shoe Trauma
In S2E29, we start with Robby showing off a new Sonic LEGO set, Knuckles, Rogue, dual-molded minifig legs, and whether custom 3D-printed LEGO figs are actually a thing. From there, we get into Robby’s bar schedule, learning drinks, wine ...
S2E28 - Summer Projects, Stinky Paws, and Digital Game Trust Issues
In S2E28, we kick things off with full dad-mode chaos, dog hair everywhere, and Slinky demanding attention like usual. From there, we get into Slinky’s stinky feet, dogs sweating through their paws, baby teeth, Roxy trying to sit on Robb...
S2E27 - Wing Wednesday, Testicle Energy, and Ball Bag Science
In S2E27, we start with Slinky getting seeds and eye goop picked out, Robby waking up in full existential “what am I doing with my life” mode, and Ian talking about the problem with wanting a relaxing “tobacco” morning when you still hav...
S2E26 - Toy Story Nails, Hummingbird Wasps, and Japan Dreams
In S2E26, we kick things off with Slinky, Roxy’s heavy-breathing ass, and Robby showing off his ridiculous Toy Story-themed nails. From there, we get into LEGO pop culture figs, Venomized characters, missing pieces, Batgirl parts that ha...
S2E25 - Timing Chains, Dog Drama, and Dick Falange
In S2E25, we start with Slinky covered in stickers, dog hair everywhere, and Robby debating whether Slinky’s “newts” need to go after he marks one of the LEGO boxes. From there, we talk about brushing Slinky and Roxy, Roxy’s guard-dog en...
S2E24 - Goodwill LEGO, Dragon Ball Rants, and a Check Engine Light
In S2E24, we start off talking about online Goodwill LEGO lots, giant pallets of mystery bricks, Robby’s day running around with Autumn, and Kirstie’s birthday plans. From there, we get into Dragon Ball, including Robby’s hatred for the ...
S2E23 - Cuban Bee, Florida Heat, and Life After Retirement
In S2E23, we bring on Rodney, also known as Cuban Bee, and catch up on life after the military. We talk about his move to Florida, retiring in 2023, getting his A&P, teaching aviation maintenance, buying a dream home, and raising two...
S2E22 - Small Towns, Mustangs, and Maintenance Therapy
In S2E22, we bring on our old Misawa coworker and friend, Josh, to catch up after years of not talking. We get into Josh’s retirement life, small-town Arizona living, the opportunity to take over a machine shop, and how machining heads a...
S2E21 - Technical Difficulties, Tobacco Flavours, and Satellite Seeds
In S1E21, we fight through another round of technical difficulties, audio delays, reconnecting issues, and Ian’s car trying to hijack the Bluetooth mid-recording. Once we finally get rolling, we talk watermelon flavors, Robby’s LEGO zomb...
S2E20 - Lost Audio, Coffee Memories, and Thunderstorm Watch
In S2E20, we start by talking through the joys of recording issues, missing audio, Bluetooth problems, and the mystery of why some spam calls kill the track and others don’t. From there, we get into missing LEGO pieces, memories of Joy, ...
S2E19 - Driving Tests, Science Tricks, and Movie Quotes
In S2E19, we start with Ian passing his UK driving theory and hazard perception test, including why the hazard section feels odd when you’ve already been driving for years. We also talk about Kirstie getting back into work, Ian helping o...
S2E18 - Mustang Repairs, Beach Days, and Anime Tattoos
In S2E18, we talk through Robby redoing the Mustang shocks, helping with an oil change, and the never-ending debate between keeping things old-school or upgrading to coilovers. Ian recaps a packed beach day, a failed attempt at metal det...
S2E17 - Das Boot, Wing Debates, and Dog Farts
In S2E17, we get into Ian forgetting to charge his smoke setup, Robby dodging another day of work, and the questionable origins of drinking beer from a boot. From there, we debate breaded versus naked wings, talk beard maintenance in the...
S2E16 - LEGO Hustles, Mortgage Math, and the 72-Ounce Challenge
In S2E16, we get into Robby selling off some of his LEGO collection, Ian’s house purchase and plans to hammer down the mortgage, and whether a five-pound steak challenge is actually doable. Along the way, Kai drops into the conversation,...
S2E15 - Rattlesnakes, Gas Taxes, and Get the Hell Out
In S2E15, we kick things off with Robby’s garage run-in with a rattlesnake and Slinky’s questionable attempt to claim the kill. From there, we get into gas prices and the proposed federal gas tax suspension, remember the freedom of riding bikes...
S2E14 - Retirement Taxes, Insurance BS, and the Neighbor’s Concrete Project
In this episode, we bounce from garage smoke, bong mishaps, and random weekend plans into a surprisingly real conversation about retirement, Social Security, taxes, and whether people should catch a break after working their whole lives. We als...
S2E13 - Ducks, Desolate Roads, and Daily Drivers
In S2E13, we bring on Niko, aka Bean, and get into life after the military, work travel, living out in Georgia, raising ducks, and trying to balance a normal life with expensive car habits. We bounce through gas prices, EV frustra...
S2E12 - Retirement Didn’t Stick
In S2E12, we bring on our friend and former coworker John Sweeney for a catch-up on life after the military. We get into retirement not going quite as planned, ending up back in management, running a gym, family plans, VA educatio...
S2E11 - Dry Lake Beds and Dropouts
In S2E11, we start off catching up while Robby is making the long drive from Texas to Oregon, talking trucks, tuners, dry lake beds, road fatigue, and the kind of random back-and-forth that comes naturally with us. Around the 10-minute m...
S2E10 - Inside My Ass in the Parking Lot
In S2E10, we bounce from storm weather and tornado watches into dog drama, parking lot stupidity, eyebrow waxing, government surveillance, and the usual completely normal turns our conversations take. We get into Slinky escaping the gate...
S2E9 - Sweet Thai Chili
In S2E9, we bounce between storm season, tornado watches, flooded buildings, muddy dogs, and the kind of everyday chaos that somehow turns into a full conversation. We also get into work downtime, mower repairs, overgrown grass, Lego sid...
S2E8 - Spam Calls and Missing Audio
In S2E8, we fight through a little technical chaos after part of the audio decides not to cooperate, but we still manage to cover a weirdly solid mix of topics. We get into spam calls, bank rates, random financial thoughts, weather, old ...
S2E7 - Catch-Up & Conspiracies
In S2E7, we catch up on everything that’s changed over the last couple of years — retirement, moving, new jobs, side hustles, and the weird turns life has taken since the first run of the podcast. From there, we drift into house drama, B...